“It was about ten past nine on a Tuesday morning. I was on my way to the shops and had to wait by the traffic lights to cross the road. I stood beside an elderly gentleman as a car bolted past at a startling pace.

“The elderly man quipped, “That’s a funny looking 30 miles an hour.” I just chuckled politely.

“As I descended the stairs into the shopping centre, I realised I should have added, “That’s an ‘Oh god, I’m late for work’ 30 miles an hour’”.”

Paul, Surrey