During orientation for my work-study job at Northwestern University, an uppity skinny theater major dude with bad hair turned to me and growled “I’m John. I don’t know your name.” How blunt, I thought. “Matt,” I replied. He asked me my major and I answered “Undecided.”

“Undecided, that’s scary,” John sneered. “I wouldn’t spend $50,000 a year to be undecided.”

“I wouldn’t spend $50,000 over four years to be a theater major,” I didn’t reply. Instead I simply turned away and reflected on what a prick he was.

-Matt, Evanston, Illinois