January 2008


“At a cinema in London twenty odd years ago I was watching the latest James Bond film. Halfway through the film the sound went off and we all sat there restlessly watching the silent screen. Eventually people started cat calling and yelling out until one wag, famously, said “Oh right…., for your EYES only” Which was of course the title of the film. It brought the house down. Not esprit d’escalier but a situation where nothing more needed to be said.”

 Bob, The Past

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“Driving slowly through a parking lot
I got yelled at by a fifty something
woman in a red hat.

“PEDESTRIAN!”

I was pretty far away from her, it
seemed odd to be yelled at like that.

I thought of two comebacks later;

“DEAD PEDESTRIAN!”

or;

“POSTMENOPAUSAL PEDESTRIAN!”

John, (location not given)

“I was working for a not-for-profit in Chicago, IL, standing at the receptionist’s station and waiting for a client to arrive when Todd and Tom – two particularly efficient employees crossed paths in opposite directions whizzing past me and the receptionist without a word. At the time I think I said, “Wow, better watch the crosswalks!” or some equally inane filler. What I regret not having said in the moment was, “Tom and Todd wait for no man.” Rats.”

Christopher T.
Chicago, IL

“I had a huge quarrel with a couple of friends the other day. Immature as they were, they would not tell me why they were so cross with me all of the sudden. Apparently they wanted me to figure out for myself – but I’m sure that there was some kind of misunderstanding ’cause I’ve done nothing wrong.
In the heat of the fight, all I could say was something vulgar and uncreative and then I left.
“A few minutes after, I thought of a pretty nice comeback: “Yes, I admit, I was wrong. *dramatical pause* It’s my fault that I have such bad taste in friends.”

 Martina, Unknown Location