Braggards


During orientation for my work-study job at Northwestern University, an uppity skinny theater major dude with bad hair turned to me and growled “I’m John. I don’t know your name.” How blunt, I thought. “Matt,” I replied. He asked me my major and I answered “Undecided.”

“Undecided, that’s scary,” John sneered. “I wouldn’t spend $50,000 a year to be undecided.”

“I wouldn’t spend $50,000 over four years to be a theater major,” I didn’t reply. Instead I simply turned away and reflected on what a prick he was.

-Matt, Evanston, Illinois

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“Once at school one of the irritating, self satisfied popular characters was being particulary cocky and attempting to flirt with our pretty music teacher. I was sat nearby and discussing that oh-so-common teenage horror, BRACES. Having overheard, Mr Popular interjected with : “MY teeth are perfect”. Left speechless with this example of arrogance and vanity I managed to mutter “yeah right” before realising that “A shame about the rest of you, then” would have deflated him (although probably not for long..)”

Lindsey, London