Sporting Achievement


“Whilst working a busy shift behind my bar a (hopefully) inexperienced member of staff sidled up to me and said “This is probably a stupid question but what’s bitter?”I replied “Err… That’d be a pint of John Smith’s” instead of something along the lines of “Heather Mills at a Hop-Scotch tournament.”

Matt, Eaglescliffe

“I was once kicking a rugby ball around with my girlfriend and a guy (you know the type, obsessed with football, can’t understand any other sport’s appeal) walked past and said ‘your ball’s the wrong shape, play the national sport’.

“and I said ‘this is much more fun’.

“later I realised I should have said ‘we would play football, but all the rolling around crying is too tiring’.”

Jez, Oxford