The Elderly


“Driving slowly through a parking lot
I got yelled at by a fifty something
woman in a red hat.

“PEDESTRIAN!”

I was pretty far away from her, it
seemed odd to be yelled at like that.

I thought of two comebacks later;

“DEAD PEDESTRIAN!”

or;

“POSTMENOPAUSAL PEDESTRIAN!”

John, (location not given)

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“It was about ten past nine on a Tuesday morning. I was on my way to the shops and had to wait by the traffic lights to cross the road. I stood beside an elderly gentleman as a car bolted past at a startling pace.

“The elderly man quipped, “That’s a funny looking 30 miles an hour.” I just chuckled politely.

“As I descended the stairs into the shopping centre, I realised I should have added, “That’s an ‘Oh god, I’m late for work’ 30 miles an hour’”.”

Paul, Surrey

“I once poured my milkshake on the ground outside Marks & Spencers because I was a reckless youth. An old women had a go at me, about a minute later I wished I had said ‘NO USE CRYING OVER SPILT MILKSHAKE’.

“I would have been so cool.”

Robin, Guildford.