Submit your contributions to stairwaywit (at) restlessboy (dot) co (dot) uk – or seeing as loads of people seem to have done it anway, just use the comment box below. Please provide a first name and city of residence.

We will accept any kind of wasted witticism. Whether it be an argument winning comeback that evaporated in the fog of your opponent’s smugness, a potentially humiliating put down that never was, a pop at a stand up comic, something you shouted at the TV that nobody heard, something you muttered under your breath at a group of hectoring youths as you hastened away from their abuse, pin-sharp abuse you hurled at a fellow motorist from your safe vantage point behind the windscreen, or something you shouted at a non-verbal being such as an animal or unfortunately-located house plant. If the moment was lost, reclaim it here.

Please describe the situation as it occurred, what you later thought of to say, and also the slightly lame comeback that, in the heat of the moment, was all you could muster.


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